Reluctant Wife

Today's saint chose to follow God's will even though it seemed like the opposite path she should take.  Although this path was difficult, in the end she was given her greatest desire to live out her vocation as a nun.

St. Frances of Rome

Feast day: March 9
Birth: 1384
Death: 1440
Rome
Wealthy nobles

Frances was a very pious young girl. By the time she was 11 years old, she had already decided that she would become a nun.  She was very strong willed and no one would be able to sway her choice.  Unfortunately, her father was just as strong willed.  He told Frances she was far too young to know her mind -- but not too young to be married. He had already promised her in marriage to the son of another wealthy family.

Frances stubbornly prayed to God to prevent the marriage until her confessor pointed out, "Are you crying because you want to do God's will or because you want God to do your will?"

Reluctantly, Frances agreed to the marriage.  Her future husband Lorenzo Ponziani was noble, wealthy, a good person and he really cared for her.  Had the wedding taken place quickly, it might have been easier for Frances.  However, her mother insisted on elaborate parties that would last for weeks before the wedding.  This strain led Frances to a breakdown.

After several months in bed, she finally decided to follow God's will for her future.  She would accept what after decision God presented her.  Her recovery was immediate and complete. Lorenzo became even more devoted to her after this -- he was even a little in awe of her because of what she'd been through.

Once married, Frances continued to struggle, now under the expectations of her mother-in-law.  Frances was expected to have gatherings in her home.  It would be through the friendship of her sister-in-law (Vannozza) that Frances would find her way.  Together they would attend to their place in society but also have their time of pious prayer.  Although it was not fashionable, the two spiritual friends went to mass together, visited prisons, served in hospitals and set up a secret chapel in an abandoned tower of their palace where they prayed together.

Soon after Frances gave birth to their first born, her mother-in-law passed away.  To her surprise, Frances was chosen (at the age of 16 years old) to run the large household of her extended family.

After two more children were born to her, a flood brought disease and famine to Rome. Frances gave orders that no one asking for alms would be turned away and she and Vannozza went out to the poor with corn, wine, oil and clothing. Her father-in-law, furious that she was giving away their supplies during a famine, took the keys of the granary and wine cellar away from her.  Without a way to provide for the poor, the two noblewomen went out to the streets to beg instead.

Finally Frances was so desperate for food to give to the poor she went to the now empty corn loft and sifted through the straw searching for a few leftover kernels of corn. After she left Lorenzo came in and was stunned to find the previously empty granary filled with yellow corn. Frances drew wine out of their one cask until one day her father in law went down and found it empty. Everyone screamed at Frances. After saying a prayer, she led them to cellar, turned the spigot on the empty cask, and out flowed the most wonderful wine. After these events, her husband and father-in-law began to trust in her ability to care for others and still provide for their family.

Then Civil war came to Rome.  There was confusion and disorder throughout the city.  Lorenzo was seriously wounded and his brother was arrested.  Their only solution to rescue him was to allow their eldest son to be held hostage.  When Frances heard this she grabbed Battista by the hand and fled. On the street, she ran into her spiritual adviser who told her she was choosing the wrong way and ordered her to trust God.  Her son was given to the authorities and she ran to the church to pray for the safety of her son.  It would only be a short time before he was safely returned to her.

Soon after, he was kidnapped a second time and taken to Naples.  However this time, it likely saved his life as a plague swept through the city.  In fact, Frances would lose her younger son to this plague.  Instead of breaking down under this pressure, Frances chose to clear her home of debris and create a hospital.

A year later, Frances was sent a vision from her son and he told her that she would lose her daughter as well.  However, God would send her a special guardian angel to protect her for the remainder of her life.

After the war, her husband and son returned home.  This was a difficult time in their lives as they recovered from the damage to their mental and physical state of being.  Frances was their to help them recover.

With Lorenzo's support and respect, Frances started a lay order of women attached to the Benedictines called the Oblates of Mary. The women lived in the world but pledged to offer themselves to God and serve the poor. Eventually they bought a house where the widowed members could live in community.

Frances nursed Lorenzo until he died. His last words to her were, "I feel as if my whole life has been one beautiful dream of purest happiness. God has given me so much in your love." After his death, Frances moved into the house with the other Oblates and was made superior. At 52 she had the life she dreamed of when she was eleven. She had been right in discerning her original vocation -- she just had the timing wrong. God had had other plans for her in between.

Frances died four years later. Her last words were "The angel has finished his task -- he beckons me to follow him."